tamatree

this is my worship...

2010-07-24T01:21:00.051+02:00

I don't post any of my paintings online but I'm finding their growth so incredibly fascinating, that I have to share at least one...

I've never studied art or how to paint. I do, however remember, from the one-and-only painting class I took in art school as a teenager, that to begin a painting, one must first loosely block in some sort of warmth gradient in contrasting-complimentaries - kind of like seeing the subject matter through the eyes of the alien in Predator (if that makes sense) - well, at least that was my understanding at the time. I've subsequently realized that most of my schooling passed bye in faint drones, as I adventured absent in body through the South Pacific islands on a raft. I invariably dropped that class as soon as I got wind that Id cut the grade to do photography and sadly, never progressed beyond the undercoat of that strange looking model in his underpants. Haa haa

Personally, I think God likes it that way, as I can never rely on my own clever abilities, but rather die completely to man's processes, so that He can flow through me. He has taught me not to focus so much on the end product but rather the intimate experience of Him. The juxtaposition of creative expression - I have always seen a white canvas as the embodiment of Faith. The tension between fear of the unknown and the overwhelming excitement of unlocking what's inside. Each experience renewing the mind to the fact that He is who He says He is and that is altogether good.

The last couple years of painting with children, has taught me that the less external influence, the better. It is invariably, a whole nother dynamic when you are being commissioned commercially on a big scale to 'produce' though, I wont lie... but all the more reason to follow desperately after God! I have nothing worthwhile to offer but the Creator Himself, who resides within me. I'm only now starting to make sense of why God asked me to study teaching and work with kids... 4 years of university and 3 years of teaching later. My close friends will all vouch for the years of studying - it was the hardest thing, I think Ive ever done! But now, I am seeing the fruit of the pure freedom and raw energy inside the untouched gifts of children - its incredibly inspiring and equally humbling.

I am not a musician, or rather, I never acquired the discipline of a musical instrument (a frustraaaated musician -yes!) but growing up, Id often find myself envying my musician friends, in the way they could just pick up guitars and begin strumming a cord or two to feel Heaven invade the room and I longed for that freedom they had to harmonize their heartfelt expression with that of their bodies.

I guess, as Ive learnt to yield, I've discovered that this is actually my worship of Him - what I was designed for. His presence falls in the room like a weight the moment I pick up a paintbrush and its my most favoritest way to fall into His sticky presence. Something like the many moments, where Ive sat alongside my friends with my head resting on the side of a baby grand, as they've found that freedom to express and release what they feel inside for Him.

Born out of a place of intimacy with Jesus...

Religion (the subtlety of the South African 'culture' - rugby; church country-clubs and placid trophy wives) robbed a lot of my creativity from me but let me tell you this...and I'll scream it out the windows....God is PASSIONATE about art!!!! He adores the uniqueness of who we are. Our quirks, squeals of laughter, mismatched randomness... the Art of who we essentially are - real and raw and passionate and messy... not just pretty little flowers in sweet tones and pleasant shades. Its a lie that you need to conform to fit into prescribed Woolworths shoe-boxes of checked shirts and chinos. I'm loud and shy; my laugh is so high pitched, I think only certain breeds of animals are able to hear it. I'm intense and don't take much serious at all, I'm forgetful but remember everything. I'm disorganized and never plan and yet am chronically pedantic. I hate maths yet I find myself obsessively decoding number plates in traffic. I love pretty clothes but hate shopping and care little for fashion. I want to build an igloo but cant bare the cold...the jist of what I'm saying? We have been made PERFECT to release something of Heaven through the unique combination of giftings we carry. You have been made perfect by Him...not an, "aah sweet, you're special" NO! Creator God, passionate and full of blazing fire, intently fashioned the details of who you are for a purpose that is greater than you. The enemy would have you believe, that it needs to be watered down to fit some kind of 'ministry mold' to be effective, but that is one of the craftiest lies ever told! Vommit on it! Everything has already been made available for you. You are freedom when ultimate Freedom resides inside of you....not only freedom for yourself - but more importantly, freedom for those around you who are desperately searching for it, almost to the point of death.

During a crazy meeting 6 months ago, I was pinned to the floor and went into a trance for a couple hours. God began to show me how religion had essentially robed me of well, me...the real me. How in man's inability to understand me, I was controlled and required to full a place I was never designed to full - and then despite my fruitless efforts, seen as rebellious or 'not serious about the things of God' - subsequently my creativity was blocked... for years on end. I just wept as lies were being ripped out of me - religion, the pain of being misunderstood, the disapproval of man, the insecurities I carried for not having had any training. I then got lifted up and transported inside the paint of Heaven like waves, and as I moved freely inside the rivers of the most incredible colours and textures my physical eyes have not yet seen, the paint brushed passed my skin like gentle sunlight, bringing healing. This seemed to go on for what seemed like hours, then my Dad began to show me a picture of me, free from all that crap. It was radically terrifying and exhilarating at the same time (if that makes sense). My friends eventually dragged me off the floor and carried me to the car as they needed to lock-up the building...and I woke up the following morning, a free artist with the full accreditation and approval of Heaven. It had always been there, the enemy just recognizes the need to try whatever means to harness that potent power. Buuut my God triumphed yet again.

So jea, I'm now painting with knives - something like icing deliciously decadent 3 meter cakes. Funnily enough, I love sugar! My mom tells me that I used to tell her that, 'when my eyes wake up, my mouth asks for sweet things'. He is my nectar, my sticky sustenance....I just cant get enough of Him.

I was commissioned this year to do all the artwork for a contemporary new hotel and this is one of my last pieces.

2010-07-21T22:14:00.012+02:00

Daddy God, creator of the entire Universe and the foundations of time, intricately weaves the tiny details of our lives together in the secret places of His immeasurable affection for us. Golden threads of Love under the iridescent glow of promise...for something far greater than ourselves...for the magnitude of His full power to be released over the earth...through us, with us, and for us...the very objects of His desire. For a Love story beaming with delight and joy and freedom. And he stands back to behold that which He has made perfect and beams with pride. It is good. It is altogether good...

Daddy, I belong to you...

2010-07-02T23:04:00.001+02:00

God's timing is perfect...

2010-06-26T19:55:00.006+02:00

french surf expedition

2010-06-19T16:15:00.002+02:00

a square hotel

2010-06-04T00:19:00.003+02:00

road trip

2010-06-03T21:21:00.016+02:00

A good friend and I are planning a long overdue road-trip adventure up to the area where I grew up - well at least to one of the areas, as we moved around a lot. I have the most phenomenal childhood memories of daily running wild in the bush (bare foot and grassy haired) to my little heart's content till sunset - which meant it was time to run back home in time for dinner. Life was simple and everyday was a true African adventure. So I'm getting a tattoo next week, finishing up on the commission Ive been working on for the last 6 months and then we off - I cant wait! *yippeee* Funny though, Ive always put this trip off to go with my boy - but I figure, if I wait around, I may never go...so I'm seizing this opportunity before I leave this beautiful country.

Ive also always wanted to go to the Fever Tree pans near the Mozambican border, so we've decided to throw that in at the same time. I just adore fever trees (Acacia xanthophloea) and interestingly enough, a large part of the project Ive been working on has been focused on them as the hotel is situated in the only fever tree lane in South Africa.

snow white

2010-05-29T00:04:00.008+02:00

How amazing is this place?!! The White Desert is situated in the Farafra Oasis region of western Egypt. I want to go there! *squeeeeal*

I don't know whats wrong with me but I *love* being in the desert - it makes me feel so alive! My name incidentally means 'desert palm', which may possibly have something to do with this strange phenomenon. I also like tropical islands too...funnily enough, I seem to take a liking to most places where palm trees grow...but then I like Greenland also.

den palm trad

2010-05-28T22:19:00.025+02:00

Some random facts on palm trees: they can be found in the most hostile regions as symbols of refreshment and life, become more flexible with age and able to withstand the wildest storms without breaking... their leaves (or fronds) are known as crowns and are symbolic of victory in the Bible....their seeds can be carried across vast expanses of ocean.

I bought this box of matches in Mauritius last year. It's made by Swedish Match - which also make 3 Stars and Swan safety matches. Oh, I love match boxes soooo much and am currently hunting down a box of The Key (if you have access to a box or are traveling soon - please, oh please mail me and let me know). I just love the vintage old-school design of third world safety matches and find them incredibly prophetic. They make the most awesome gifts...well to me, anyway!

Lion match remain my all time favorite...and for obvious reasons, of course.

♥ freedom friday ♥

2010-04-02T17:14:00.003+02:00

My freedom came at a very high price....thank you Jesus, my beautiful friend and King.

yukkie day

2010-04-02T01:23:00.007+02:00

Thankfully this photo always makes my heart smile. Shot, JP!

it was all yellow

2010-03-18T19:04:00.008+02:00

...so I'm going to be spending my holiday painting yellow taxi cabs and Ive never even been to New York.

'passages in time'

2010-01-31T21:49:00.010+02:00

I am finally getting a portfolio of images ready to take with me to the States as I look for a publisher for my book on the Middle East. I received a prophesy in September last year from a prophet (who had no idea that I was a photographer) about much travel and many books. She saw coffee-table books on people groups and cities around the world...a couple days later, I was approached to be the photographer for a coffee-table book on my home city to be published in 2010. One of my dreams has always been to publish a series of fine art journal coffee-table books on 'revival' and my heart longs for the day that I can hit the road with my cameras, a laptop and a whole lodda of fresh FIRE.

my favorite place

2010-01-28T04:31:00.001+02:00

the tides of change have finally arrived...

2009-08-09T20:45:00.004+02:00

...and people are beginning to jump into the river of God with their clothes on.
(photo taken in Tamarin Bay Mauritius)

new home away from home

2009-06-09T20:21:00.009+02:00

...three guesses where I'll be in 3 weeks! *YAY!*
(these aren't my photos)

full circle

2009-05-17T13:00:00.034+02:00

The doors in Yemen are exquisite - despite their age, you could probably hang them in modern art gallery around the world.

I took this photo in about July 2004. I had been walking with my dad through a labyrinth of winding passageways within the ancient city of Babel' Yemen when I came across this particular door.

As we looked closer we noticed that there was actually a white horse locked away inside (so hidden that friends still battle to see once pointed out). No-one around for miles and no evidence of anyone having been around either. I spoke to the horse for a bit in broken Arabic, took a photo and continued on my adventure.

I'm not a ‘horsy-person’ but I’ve always wondered about that solitary white horse locked away in the middle of nowhere...my heart had been broken by he's sad eyes. I wondered what happened to him and if he was still alive.

It is common to have camels working in mills on the ground floor of peoples homes (after all that is where the livestock sleep at night). These camels were often taken in to work as foals and are no longer able to fit back out through the small doorway... so they just live in these little dingy, cramped, cave-like rooms.

A couple years later I was looking online at pics taken in Yemen and stumbled across this one taken at the end of 2006 by a Frenchman named Yves Lambert.
Once I gathered my composure, I was filled with the overwhelming realization that God had orchestrated all of that just to communicate something to me. That this photographer had been to that exact door (literally in the middle of nowhere) at the most precise timing...and then followed through by posting his image online for me to find.

When I told my mom, her response was that she felt it was a very significant picture for the end times church. I'm not sure if I’d take it that far but its definitely prophetically significant in my own life...and especially that I'm only now uploading this for the world to see. Considerably sizable in my life right now actually...

heart

2009-04-25T18:21:00.006+02:00

Just when I thought I was open-handed, God starts teaching me about being open-handed...

ruined

2009-04-22T21:42:00.004+02:00

who actually knows what Ive been waiting for...tic-toc...
all I do know is this - I am properly ruined.

change

2009-04-22T21:10:00.010+02:00

Everything we know should always be subject to change...
even our knowledge of Him who never changes.

woohoooo!

2009-04-05T22:31:00.003+02:00

kindness

2009-03-31T23:49:00.011+02:00

Daddy God is altogether good...He is altogether faithful...He is altogether patient...He is altogether Loving...He is KIND.

goodness me

2009-03-25T21:03:00.005+02:00

more pics of Mauritius...how did these get here? *lol*

no more monkeys jumping on the bed

2009-03-24T22:41:00.017+02:00

And I'm finally working on my very last album ever (well, provided Lisa gets married before me, that is!) due at the end of the week. The 'last of something' is usually the most difficult but always liberating in some or other area, even if only in personal growth or self realization. People say the 'first of everything' is especially memorable, but my last wedding is cause for collosal celebration, marking the official closure of a very long, hard, barren season of work, work and umm...more work. What better way to end it than on a tropical island. Hmm...but in order for a new space to open up, the old one has to increase by giving way for the new and in order for a seed to grow it must die...which usually means it has to endure a painful winter season to see new life.

(lack of sleep makes me especially philosophical...deliriously philosophical actually)

Sorry girls but I wont be attending another wedding for a good while...yes, its official: I'm on a 'wedding sabbatical'.

sigh

2009-03-24T22:32:00.007+02:00

I wish with all my heart I could be fast asleep in my bed right now.

i can't sleep

2009-03-24T02:09:00.016+02:00

old books

2009-03-22T08:29:00.100+02:00

Why's it so hard to find classic analogue 'documentary-style' portraits of the Masai online?! For crying in a plastic spoon...

I was visiting my aunt and uncles place this last week with my mom (before she leaves to join my dad in Uganda). My uncle is an artist and he has these incredible old coffee-table books stashed up in his studio....you know, the types where you want to hold your face really close to the pages and breath in deep while turning them ever so slowly so as to best make use of the exquisite smell. Its the smell of wisdom and experience, trapped timelessly on sheets of semi gloss paper (a smell up there with leather, roast chicken and afternoon summer rain on hot dry sand). Silent journeys that only rarely brave their way back into the world to be revisited by an appreciating eye. Mm...that smell brings back sweet memories of lying on a wool carpet as a little scruffy-haired kiddie with my brother, paging through piles of old encyclopedias - he'd tell me stories about Sweden and Greenland and World War 2 and 'spontaneous combustion'. He was my hero...there was nothing he didn't know *lol*

Most of my uncles books document life in the 40's (both pre and post war). Stunning! But amongst these books, is a very large one on Kenya (probably photographed in the early 60's and printed sometime in the late 70’s maybe). Its full of huge fine-art 'documentary-style' black&white portraits. Images still alive they've been so well photographed! Why don't they make photographers like that anymore?

I could have actually just sat for hours with the book pressed up against my face, eyes closed, just taking in the delicate smell of the experience...but I couldn't...the photos were just too breathtaking to ignore. Moving. Almost spell bounding. The kind of quality you just don't find nowadays.

The digital age I tell you. Anyone can snap mindlessly away with a digital camera to flood the airwaves with crappy photos until they get their ‘one in a million’ shot...like literally. That's why I hate digital! It trains people into becoming visually lazy and self-indulgent. Did I mention that I desperately need a digital camera? Aargh...the irony of it all!

There’s a Maasai warrior I sometimes see walking around the area I live. He must be about 7 feet tall, rich almost red brown in colour and robed in traditional red Masai fabric. He stops me dead in my tracks every time. Such presence and beauty.

sweet presence

2009-03-21T14:49:00.007+02:00

better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere

liebermarlene

2009-03-21T13:37:00.019+02:00

I stumbled on this girly while searching for ideas on alice-bands and pretty little hair things. Her name is Rhiannon Leifheit, a stylist from Atlanta with the most massive collection of little vintage dresses. She has the sweetest little wardrobe I've ever seen. So worth having a look see.

when you were a child

2009-03-20T19:38:00.006+02:00

When you were a child
I called you my own
And you were mine
When you were a child
You could not stand alone
But you were fine

I want to know that child again
Maybe time has changed you
But Love remembers when
You called my name and like the wind
I carried you away
It seems like only yesterday
When you were a child

When you were a child
The world was the unknown
But you were wise
To simply trust in me
That I will never leave
And hold on tight

- lyrics by Jason Upton

bokmakierie

2009-03-19T23:13:00.022+02:00

I ♥ your style JP! Have a look at some of his work.
(Oh, and I ♥ sushi and chocolate also JP! ;-) Charge it please...thank you very much!)

separated at birth

2009-03-19T22:45:00.011+02:00

My long lost twin and I sometime in 1980. I am on the right.

smitten

2009-03-16T22:25:00.016+02:00

God's love is infinite. the purest romance imaginable. the fact that God (creator of the universe, holy, righteous, all knowing, all-powerful) pays attention to the most arbitrary details of our hearts to woo us closer to Himself. to remind us that He sees us. nakedly. as we are. flesh. to the core. unmasked. inside out. and that He is literally just that, ‘smitten’ with us.

I recently asked Him to take all of my heart...along with every dream...in exchange for more of Him. and he has done just that.

mauritius

2009-03-15T23:34:00.006+02:00

ok - so I'm actually just going to show off right now...cause I can!!

(hmm...yes...this is where I'll be today in 3 weeks time)

joao silva

2009-03-14T13:47:00.014+02:00

A hero of the struggle and one of the four South African photographers associated with the ‘The Bang Bang Club’ documenting township violence in the early 90's as apartheid was in its last throes. Joao Silva and Greg Marinovich (the only survivors of the group) wrote an autobiography after the name which has since been turned into a movie. Some of his photos give me goosies. No words.

ghetto blaster

2009-03-08T15:15:00.010+02:00

A boombox, also known as ghetto blaster, jambox, or radio-cassette, is a name given to portable stereo systems capable of playing radio stations and recorded music (usually cassettes), at relatively high volume. Designed for portability, most boomboxes can be powered by batteries, as well as by line current.

faith

2009-03-08T14:21:00.004+02:00

By faith Abraham, even though he was pased age - and Sarah herself was barren - was able to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came the descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seasore.

Hebrews 11:11-12

emma

2009-03-07T10:24:00.007+02:00

Oh, I just love this! This was taken by a friend of a friend. Check out her pics here. She's really good.

sweetness

2009-03-07T09:47:00.007+02:00

YAY!

2009-03-07T09:22:00.007+02:00

Welly boots make my heart glad!

so much of prettyness

2009-03-04T20:13:00.015+02:00

aargh!

2009-03-03T16:33:00.007+02:00

I actually just want an ice-cream...and a scream would be nice also.

south african legend

2009-03-01T20:41:00.005+02:00

I recently came across a photographic journal of South African photographer Obie Oberholzer - 'Ariesfontein to Zuurfontein : A Pictorial Journey (1988)' shot through the early 80's and fell in love with these 2 pics. Obie (who was the Professor of Photography at Rhodes for many years) is known for his brilliantly quirky 'South Africanisms' in the form of colour-saturated mid format travel documentary.

rabbit punch - poodles are members of a cult

2009-03-01T18:58:00.011+02:00

INSTRUCTIONS:
1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random... Read More”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together. (It's album art, so make the picture square)
5 - Post it to FB with this text in the "caption" and TAG the friends you want to join in. (you can untag yourself if you don't want this photo up)

Why didn't I think of this before?

first-take paralysis syndrome

2009-03-01T17:11:00.017+02:00

Why is it that I've had this blog for almost 2 years and have not posted a single article?

The answer is simple: 'First-Take Paralysis Syndrome' (and yes...as violently nasty as it sounds!). The syndrome can be defined by the paralysis of all pragmatic reasoning, coupled with a loss of creative motivation, as a result of the overwhelming sensation of making the first stitch in time. This disorder is often held intact with 'high regard', the best of 'intentions' and ‘too many a good idea’ to even begin with and is often accompanied with feelings of angst, irrational perfectionism, contextual anarchy and blankness. Something like the combination of a white canvas and an empty head...no limbs...and only an awful shade of bottle green acrylic paint.

So to ease the pressure I have opted to play a little game of randomness I saw on Facebook the other day.

When in doubt...play play play!